When i first came to Amsterdam, i was planning to emigrate. Thanks to my internet magic skills, while writing my thesis, i managed to disappear, for a while, online. When everybody around me thought i was lost in space and time, my little personal life receipt was made, and one day, suddenly, the cake was ready. Happy to be almost done, i accepted a lover visit. Not any lover… my favorite at that time :) !!
"Hey, how is it going… You haven’t been around… What do you do tomorrow?" he said, entering my place.
"Ehm, tomorrow i am going to the University, to discuss my thesis, you know, i have finished!" WOW … "And… By the way, did i tell you i am moving to… ehm… Amsterdam?"
"What??" … "Well, i got a job… I did not mean to go there, i was looking for something around Europe, Berlin, Barcelona, some kind of place where i could feed my interests, and my pocket!…"
There were two fields i was testing, asking myself what was more important for me. On one side, i was searching for a job in the B-cinema, some kind of occupation in a small trash or porno or horror film-house. On the other side, i was intrigued by programming, video within the digital domain, and the more ‘official’ art world. Reality chose for me. I was selected by Montevideo, the ‘Netherlands Media-Art Institute’…"
"But how do you do, when will you go, how did you arrange all of that, where will you stay, do you know anyone and… DIAVOLA!"
"Darling, you know i spend a lot of time in front of the computer, right? They call it virtual life but it seems pretty real to me… Anyhow, i am swapping this flat, where we are about to get really hot right now, with another one in Amsterdam, for 7 months. I arranged everything online… " People think i often do not know what am i doing, because of my pleasure in improvising, but i actually do know what am i doing and why.
…
It was so difficult to say i was going, but it was. When you think of an open relation, you can think of everything, but what do you figure? I thought it was clear i was almost an hologram for him, i was going to disappear and offcourse it is love and i love you but… "…i have got to go i need to get out of Italy i don’t fell free here and i think they will stop me here before or later for any reason, or whatever. You know what? It is late, there is no doubt, no decision, it is just a straight direct will. Do not… what can i say?"
When i first came to Amsterdam, it was saturday morning, and i had to start working on the following monday. Within the first two hours, i knew i was going to stay for some years.
Many things happened since then.
Amsterdam is underwater, it is a world apart. Someone once told me Holland is like a drum, because it is flat, and when you hit there the noise is strong and deep and you can hear it from far away. I reflect on the possibility of being heard and not seen, walking through an environment which is so low and all the rest is out of the water, that makes a lens. I swim around looking from above.
