I sit on the floor, i do not have a table. Internet comes and go, i am working on a wireless bridge. My laptop’s monitor looks like a sandwich. I keep working, ignoring the uncomfortable situation.
When i wake up in the morning, it is too cold to get out of bed. I don’t care, i keep smiling, but my back is paining… Never mind, i do not have a house, i do not have money, my phone got blocked, my family is far, my parents are old, i am very skinny. Never mind, i keep typing. I have a home on the net, i might be immaterial very soon. I could disappear online… The phone is ringing: i get scared. People asking, people pretending, someone is nice. They say *female_hacker*, a "she". What is a female? I am not an hacker. Female, hacker? … A policeman puts his dirty hand on my shoulder. "Nederlands?"… "Nee". Lights? Bike? Where do i live? I am a t-u-r-i-s-t! I walk away… I am not sure about gender, undecided. I would like a girlfriend, i dream of a woman making love to me. I do not have sex, i have too much sex. I do not love, i loved too much. I borrow a bike, i borrow a bed, i share all i have, i have nothing. I need to study, i can think all day. I am reading a book, it starts with this frase:
"Keep your hands off my settings… i don’t want to be awake" (Philip K. Dick, Do Androids dream of electric sheep?)
I run away, i come back. I am lost in the airports. I do not know. I need a base, i want to be nomad. I am tired and cold, i do not want to integrate in society… Internet is down again, someone is complaining, i did not want to be a techie. Too late… it is payback time, and i find it interesting. I love music, i love writing, i love hacking more and more, and computers are comforting me. What am i doing tomorrow? If you have ping you have no chair, if you have a chair, the room is cold, when the room is warm, the net falls down, you restart the router, and you got very hungry. I wish we could eat once a week, carefully. It is so difficult to find a working environment, to have a place to live, to exist. Everything moves, we should be happy right now.
This is the story of none, this is the story of a girl (who got lost in space and time). This is the story of humanity, at the end of the sand-glass.
In such world reality is the imaginary, broken impression of our happiness. Or … The imaginary impression of our reality is broken… Or .. Imaginary reality is broken, just an impression… Or … The broken reality is just an imaginary impression of happiness… Or … The broken happiness is imaginary, reality is an impression… Or … The real impression is broken, happiness is imaginary… Or … Imagination is broken: happiness is an impression of the real… Or … Happiness is an impression, a break through imaginary reality… Or … The impression is real, happiness is breaking imagination… Or … A real break, the impression of happiness, just imagination.
if this is true
we living in the same world..
where the broken reality is a simple imaginary impression of our happiness.