I am still living in Amsterdam, my house was evicted at the end of October. After two months in a great squat in the centre it happened to me to have a warm flat available. The first month was paid, the second was my first rent in two years. NO fun.

I decided to leave the Netherlands, after June, unless i dont get a great job or a very interesting residence. I miss squatting, i miss having space. I feel healthier though. I am charging energy to go away. I am melancholic these days thinking of that strange building in the Damrak, now wrapped in a condom of plastic. If i get funding for a Phd, i will go to London or anywhere i can live without all of this pressure. I love Amsterdam, still.

Pressure: some days i cannot focus on anything because i just dont know where to find the money to exist. I am thinking of some malicious wild free-lancing: no interesting projects badly paid, pure digital service for mongoloids.

Love: that interests me less and less, but i am very open to people in general, who they are, what they do, what do they think…

Family: well, i am always worried about it, also i feel a bit abandoned but thats a old story.

Everyday: i am hyper-social, but i spend a lot of time alone. I am eating good food, trying to get some weight. Money is finished again before i could accomplish that. I am out of time, and out of space. I am probably dreaming reality. I feel more comfortable in a poetic dimension.

Future: well, i have a crystal ball i can look at, also a magic drum you can ask questions to and she (the drum) will answer while you play. I dont think i have to choose a place, i am waiting for a place to choose me. There i will live.  

Box: i put lots of questions and answers, expectations and desires in a box. I sent the box to my next address, who knows where. I am so light without commitments, partner, children and steady life, that i think i am flying.

Hat: a friend gave me a black hat, really warm and nice. I use it to hide my smile, which i think might be illegal in this society. I am smiling all the time, people ask me why am i walking around almost laughing… I am just happy, and i have to admit my inner voice is even more ironic than my speech! (hai mangiato la foglia?)