xname

Ciao!

Tonight i am streaming some generative electronic music at 22 for Radio Onda Rossa!

I have a 2 tracks mixer and 1 computer. I will do some pure data generated sounds and manipulation, plus layering of tracks and noises.

BEWARE OF YOUR SPEAKERS!

http://stream.r23.cc:2323/ubique.ogg

http://stream.indivia.net:8000/ondarossa  

The first is my url, the second is the mix from ROR.
You can play these using videolan.
Ah, if you are sitting around the centre of Italy, try  87.9 FM 
Personal thanks to Tizzja, 'Il Complesso di Electra' and Odissea. 

The following are hand written notes from July 2004, when i was travelling between Mostar and Sarajevo. I publish the original text, in italian.

Sarajevo e' circondata dai monti. Per quattro anni e' stata bombardata, senza acqua, elettricita'. Una strada porta a nord, una a sud, una ad est ed una ad ovest.
La biblioteca e' distrutta.
Una sorta di ponte tra est ed ovest.
Ad est affondano le radici.
Come Alessandria, come Baghdad.
La negazione dell'origine, dei numeri, dei segni, di tutto.
Chi non ha passato vuole possedere la storia.
La cultura e' un mistero.
La tecnologia appare come un miraggio, scissa dalla magia, figlia di una scienza che da sola non basta.
Cento bombe al minuto, il tempo di contare.
Le nazioni unite, il cibo e gli avanzi del Vietnam. 

Most significa ponte.

La citta' e' distrutta. All'una si sente il mojadin, o come si scrive, il canto musulmano, un lamento al posto delle squillanti campane. E' poetico. La gente si da' allo struscio. Vi e' ancora voglia di festa, ed allegria.

Sarajevo e' dignitosa, pulita, smagliante. Hanno distrutto il centro. Le famiglie sono un po' smembrate. Ma unite. Il monte Ivan separa l'Erzegovina dalla Bosnia. Questo monte blocca il clima mediterraneo al di la'. Un tunnel di poco piu' di seicento metri separa due regioni dal clima completamente diverso. L'Erzegovina e' rocce, macchia mediterranea, montagne scoscese. La Bosnia e' invece continentale, piu' fredda, collinosa. Mitteleuropea. Siamo sui Balcani. E' una piccola citta', lunga e stretta.
La macina comune fronteggia il cimitero sullo collina.
La macina e' una gigante costruzione in cemento grigio.
Il pane e' buono, ora. 

If you want to know more, read my dream from those days! 

"We gave you the opportunity of doing it," the Red Queen remarked: "but I daresay you've not had many lessons in manners yet?"
"Manners are not taught in lessons," said Alice. "Lessons teach you to do sums, and things of that sort."
"And you do Addition?" the White Queen asked. "What's one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one?"
"I don't know," said Alice. "I lost count."
"She can't do Addition," the Red Queen interrupted. "Can you do Subtraction? Take nine from eight."
"Nine from eight I can't, you know," Alice replied very readily: "but--"
"She can't do Subtraction"' said the White Queen. "Can you do Division? Divide a loaf by a knife--what's the answer to that?"
"I suppose--" Alice was beginning, but the Red Queen answered for her. "Bread-and-butter, of course. Try another Subtraction sum. Take a bone from a dog: what remains?"
Alice considered. "The bone wouldn't remain, of course, if I took it--and the dog wouldn't remain; it would come to bite me --and I'm sure I shouldn't remain!"
"Then you think nothing would remain?" said the Red Queen.
"I think that's the answer."
"Wrong, as usual," said the Red Queen: "the dog's temper would remain."
"But I don't see how--"
"Why, look here!" the Red Queen cried. "The dog would lose its temper, wouldn't it?"
"Perhaps it would," Alice replied cautiously.
"Then if the dog went away, its temper would remain!" the Queen exclaimed triumphantly.
Alice said, as gravely as she could, "They might go different ways." But she couldn't help thinking to herself, "What dreadful nonsense we ARE talking!"

(Chap IX - Queen Alice)

Volta il cavallo, e ne la selva folta
lo caccia per un aspro e stretto calle:
e spesso il viso smorto a dietro volta;
che le par che Rinaldo abbia alle spalle.
Fuggendo non avea fatto via molta,
che scontrò un eremita in una valle,
ch'avea lunga la barba a mezzo il petto,
devoto e venerabile d'aspetto.

Dagli anni e dal digiuno attenuato,
sopra un lento asinel se ne veniva;
e parea, più ch'alcun fosse mai stato,
di coscienza scrupolosa e schiva.
Come egli vide il viso delicato
de la donzella che sopra gli arriva,
debil quantunque e mal gagliarda fosse,
tutta per carità se gli commosse.

La donna al fraticel chiede la via
che la conduca ad un porto di mare,
perché levar di Francia si vorria,
per non udir Rinaldo nominare.
Il frate, che sapea negromanzia,
non cessa la donzella confortare
che presto la trarrà d'ogni periglio;
ed ad una sua tasca diè di piglio.

... 

La donna al traditore a piè d'un monte
tolse l'indegna vita a suo grande agio;
che d'altro aiuto quel non si provede,
che d'alti gridi e di chiamar mercede.

... 

Spesso di cor profondo ella sospira,
di pentimento e di dolor compunta,
ch'abbia in lei, più ch'amor, potuto l'ira.
- L'ira (dicea) m'ha dal mio amor disgiunta:
almen ci avessi io posta alcuna mira,
poi ch'avea pur la mala impresa assunta,
di saper ritornar donde io veniva;
che ben fui d'occhi e di memoria priva. -

Queste ed altre parole ella non tacque,
e molto più ne ragionò col core.
Il vento intanto di sospiri, e l'acque
di pianto facean pioggia di dolore.
Dopo una lunga aspettazion pur nacque
in oriente il disiato albore:
ed ella prese il suo destrier ch'intorno
giva pascendo, ed andò contra il giorno.

Lewis Carroll, matematico e scrittore del XIX sec, scriveva, intorno al 1880:

"Quando un solido viene immerso in un liquido, e' ben noto che esso sposta una parte del liquido eguale al suo stesso volume, e che il livello del liquido sale quanto salirebbe se gli fosse stata aggiunta una quantita' dello stesso liquido eguale, in volume, al solido ... Se si tiene in mano un bastone lungo sei piedi, con l'estremita' in un bicchier d'acqua, e si ha la pazienza di aspettare abbastanza, si puo' finire con l'esserne sommersi. Il problema della fonte dalla quale dovrebbe provenire tutta questa acqua - che appartiene ad un ramo dell'alta matematica, e non rientra quindi nell'ordine delle presenti considerazioni - non si applica al mare. Osserviamo quindi la ben nota immagine di un uomo che se ne stia in riva al mare, con la bassa marea, ed un solido in mano, che egli immerge parzialmente: per quanto egli resti la', fermo ed immobile, tutto quello che sappiamo e' che dovra' necessariamente affogare."

tratto da "Una storia ingarbugliata" (A tangled tale) 

U'altra notte di sogni opachi, tempo rallentato di un terzo, attese, abbandoni.

Se nn avessi mai sofferto di insonnia, mia compagna di infanzia, sarei una persona molto diversa. A volte provo ad immaginarmi, serena ed equilibrata, quell'altra io che non e' mai nata, o e' sbocciata senza fiorire.

Penso a tutti i libri che ho letto, alle mie esperienze oniriche, alla paura della noia durante la veglia... Penso al terrore silenzioso, ai luoghi immateriali in cui torno e continuo a tornare da anni, alla memoria che ho in dimensioni altre. Ricordo la donna in viola, le citta' collage dal cielo blu elettrico, le montagne marroni e la ferrovia in mezzo al mare.

Ora vivo in cima ad un palazzo piuttosto antico, pieno di simboli e triangoli. Dalle finestre vedo i tetti che nessuno vede, strane cupole e torri, luoghi di culto non ufficiali, un'Amsterdam segreta e sommersa. 

Gli uccelli della citta' si lavano, al mattino, di fronte al mio davanzale. Forse questo mi aiutera' ad imparare a volare.

A volte la sensazione di aver perso una parentesi prende il sopravvento.

Che sia noia, o paranoia, poco cambia. Entro un loop, tutto continua a girare. Si puo' sopravvivere girando. Si puo' sopravvivere con il solo movimento, non e' necessario l'accumulo. Anche la testa gira. Prosegue all'infinito:

for (;;)

Mi sorprendo spesso a pensare che le 'cose', alcune cose - fatti - persone - situazioni, possano durare all'infinito. Mi guardo intorno, e riconosco e discerno l'instabilita' insita nelle costellazioni e ambienti che mi circondano. Cerco qualcosa di consistente. Decido di studiare il linguaggio C, perche' ha una storia di circa 30 anni, come me. Saremo consistenti assieme? Chissa'. Qualcuno lo paragona al greco, questione di classicismo, antichita'. Io sussumo righe di codice convinta di poterle applicare alla realta'. E' ovvio, deve per forza funzionare. Nel greco antico la costruzione logica della frase si basa spesso sul 'men' ... 'de', ovvero 'da una parte'....'dall'altra', il che non e' proprio un se/allora, quanto piuttosto un discorso di possibilita' concomitanti, diverse sfaccettature, prospettive e angolazioni. Contemporaneita'. La programmazione e' processuale, tenta di prevedere ogni possibilita', ma l'esecuzione comporta una scelta esclusiva. Ogni programma ha un inizio, un risultato, ed una fine. La continuita' e' un ciclo, dal quale e' possibile uscire, con un semplice, ma chiaro:

break;

Per imparare e' necessario mettersi in gioco, concedere a se' stessi la possibilita' di cambiare, compiere un viaggio esplorativo in un contesto anche statico.

Ogni nuova disciplina, o nozione, contiene all'interno un piccolo Graal, ambito e nascosto. Il Graal e' quella porzione di conoscenza dal pattern universale, traducibile in infiniti contesti.

Si torna all'infinito. 

Il Chequepoint e' finalmente, nuovamente, online. Tralascio le peripezie, gli incantesimi ed i sotterfugi. Gioisco. Mi inchino di fronte all'hacker dei telefoni che quest'oggi e' venuto a trovarmi in tenuta da sommossa. Ripenso con volutta' al quadro di comando, alle 45 possibilita', ai due cavi del telefono che il principe della telefonia muoveva sotto i miei occhi colmi di ammirazione. Ho un debole per gli hackers, mi eccitano. Non posso farci nulla, e' cosi', e li riconosco ad occhi chiusi.

"Non dire nulla...

...my heart is almost exploding!"

"Chiamami quando vuoi..." 

Ci puoi contare caro, certe cose io non le dimentico. Imparo, condivido, e ripongo il mio maestro nel cuore, per sempre. Sempre??

Ahi, ahi... "Xname, be quite!"

Una illuminazione mi e' giunta da un uomo-voce-umana, a fatica raggiunto dopo ore di pseudo colloquio con una voce registrata, dalla compagnia internet-provider-dell-olanda (eravamo-fichi-ma-abbiamo-fatto-i-soldi-ora-tu-paghi-e-suchi // chi capisce a chi mi riferisco vince un premio). Dico: "Ah grazie, quante belle cose mi date, ma quanto durano? Dico, ok, se l'abbonamento finisce, posso continuare ad utilizzare, chesso', le mail, oppure..."

L'uomo diventa quasi robotico, come i suoi colleghi fatti di pitch.

"Tutto dura finche' uno paga."

Mi scuso, umiliata dalla mia ingenuita'. La butto sul personale "Tendo a credere ci siano... mmm, tendo a credere esista l'eterno, almeno nel servizio mail..." Per non parlare di altre cosette altrettanto, o piu', delicate... Cerco di fargli capire al volo che ho avuto qualche trauma da bambina, dunque ho in testa idee bizzarre, che girano spesso in loop.

Incasso, e porto a casa. Faccio un respiro profondo, mi sento, improvvisamente, osservata.  Sono, tra 'parentesi', al lavoro, in un laboratorio di arte e informatica (?!).

La lezione e' semplice, e la ripasso pedalando verso casa: l'infinito esiste, c'e', ma costa, costa molto, e lo paghi caro tutta la vita.

This little blog has been under heavy spam attack during the last few days. Yesterday, after deleting 273 messages of spam, i closed comments on the post SenoritaTristeza.
That was produced in less than 40 hours.

Spam is something really dirty and disgusting, like fleas.

What is puzzling me is "what is all of this advertisement doing?" Are they really selling Viagra? And who is using it? Is it a big business? Or just annoyance?

I wonder how many men are using it. I wonder why these spiders decided my blog was a great place for selling it. It is ironic. I am totally unexperienced so i can only presume there are customers.

Lately i noticed spam is growing. A new generation of non-sense spam is also invading email boxes and capturing general information. They often give me the impression of a delirious post trip talk, when everything makes sense while if you think of it the meaning disappears like a shadow. Dreams, visions and reality are just the same. And you keep seeking the point where everything will be revealed. As you move, the imaginary worlds are sliding, and you render the first thing to understand is there is nothing to understand.

The net, overwhelmed by drugs and informations, starts spiting out a last non-sense complain.

I was invited few days ago to produce a little video interview of myself describing my next tecnological project in a very technical accurate way.

However, i did something completely different from what i was asked.

 
Would you like to see it?

http://xname.cc/video/alterego.mov

Here some infos about the online event i am invited to:

THE END OF POETICS!

Wednesday 7 February at 7 pm sharp
3 participation modes:
live at 13m3 studena bratislava (welcome there)
(tranzit studios studena 12 bratislava next to tesco)
chat from your desktop at home
point to freenode.net #B22F
watch the stream from your coach
connect at rtsp://qt.okno.be:8000/B22F_02.sdp

... is the total failure of our culture against the background of an overwhelming 'globalisation without vision' to be read from the way we are expressing ourselves creatively? after the dismantling of art by philosophy (and art itself too, but that is fine...) what do we mean when we think of beauty? and how do we really make it? what do we want to achieve by it? is there still a manual of new stylistics with the purpose to reach the other (needed/possible)? how do we want to tell something? what do we hear and see, what do you want to say exactly? are we different from our disappearing parents watching the same daily feed of self imitating programs on tv? is there still a poetics here?
the program is hosted supported organized by society of algorithm and mxhz.org, 13m3.sk+tranzit, 34.sk, okno.be and documented on http://societyofalgorithm.org/B22F while you can contact b22f {-at-} societyofalgorithm.org for more information etc...

SplusD Lab  |  Practical C Programming Workshop

3 months
25 lessons
from 5th February
monday - thursday 
21 - 23

reference text:
Kernighan Ritchie “The C Programming Language”

info

A binary digit is called a bit. Usually expressed as 0 and 1 the two numbers of the binary numbering system.
A bit is the smallest unit of information a computer can use. A 16 bit computer would process a series of 16 bits,such as
0100111101011000 in one go, repeating the process thousands or millions of times per second.
Reading a series of bits is very difficult and to make this process easier they are often displayed in groups of 4 bits
0100 1111 0101 1000

This grouping is quite interesting in that a group of 4 bits can be replaced by a single hexadecimal digit
Two groups of 4 bits, i.e. 8 bits ( a byte) can be replaced by 2 hexadecimal digits,
and 4 hexadecimal digits are required to replace all 16 bits.
A group of 8 bits are in a byte. With 8 bits ( binary digits ), there exists 256 possible denary combinations.

If you remember that 1 byte can store one alphabetical letter, single digit, or a single character/symbol, such as #. Large numbers of bytes can be expressed by kilobyte and megabyte.

The value of a kilobyte is 1024. Worked out as 2^10. Normally Kilo refers to 1000 but in computing kilobyte is 1024.

Likewise, 1024Kb is referred to as a "Megabyte". Normally a Mega refers to a million. In computing 1 Mega byte is 1,048,576 bytes. Worked out as 2^20, or 1024*1024.

Some days ago, i visited a friend out of Amsterdam to work together on a project. The idea was to spend few days there asking him to accomplish the following mission: saving myself from myself. I thought it was a hard job. When i got there, i was fevering.

It is night. Someone invites us for a jazz concert. I can rattle on the chair, but no more. I tell him to go, i am fine, bla bla, i am happy to wait. He goes.

As soon as he is out, i see some of my cardinals monsters walking around the house, talking to me from the ceiling. I am still on the same chair, by now almost attached to it. I imagine he will find me exactly there, when back.

At a certain point i get distracted. My computer is looking at me. Don't take me wrong, don't think i am maniac, but i suddenly felt a bit excited, and the monsters started slowly to zoom out.

I jump on the machine, enter in Second Life...
Mi faccio un giro.

I am running around naked with socks and hat and gloves, how i like it. In Second Life you can fly and  teleport. I decide to fly.

I get to a place quite chic and yuppie, someone tells me avatars without clothes are not welcome there. I tell him a am a newbie, and i like to be naked, but also that i am quite excited, so i was wondering whether and how it is  possible to get some sex there, and how it works. He answers me i am in the wrong place, but there are hot zones in Second Life. I get dressed and look for a quite place to make a picture of myself. You normally see your avatar's back, and the others are seeing your front.

It is a strange world i am in.

I play with its limits...

I finally get to a crowded place, a group of horny people is gathering. I try to talk to them. They do not seem disturbed. Everybody else i met, i proposed some cybersex, but no one accepted. Most of the people thought i was a man. Ahah, i can see that from the dirty things you say. Sob! I wish you could see me dude. Everybody is making business here. I wanted to have sex. Is this that strange? Some other people ask me if i wanted to have money for that. Noo, i just want to have fun with you. Is that so rare? I want you to enjoy me. Noway. People do not trust things for free.

Finally i am surrounded by a hot bounce of people. I start talking to them, and i manage to intrigue an avatar, the macho wearing a white shirt you can see on the picture below. We talk a bit, about various topics (it looks like we both need a certain emotional ingredient to get horny). He is interested in some sexual behavior, but, like me, he does not know how to do that. One thing is clear to him: if we have to do something, that has to happen in a more intimate environment. We walk away.  

I start immediately provoking him with any kind of crazy fantasy that comes to my mind, following the right pattern. He gets into the game and makes his part. The funny thing is that: it is a textual, imaginative sexual experience. The avatars, when we talk, which is a chat talk, are there standing and digitizing, while, when you are in the game, balloons with your words are appearing over your head. These balloons are not there when you make a still from inside the game. Every avatar around can see the words. I say that to specify we are actually at the climax of a fuck in the quite picture you can see here.

We enjoy this mental trip while various people around start looking and us. At a certain point a spanish boy comes around. I tell him not to disturb, we are having sex, but if he wants to help out...

At this point my partner, i do not say his name for privacy reasons, stops everything. I cannot do that, he says. If it was with two women, that would be another story, but with a man, i am sorry, i cannot.
Come on, let it go, we are in virtual life...

Nothing to do, his dogma is very strong. We continue alone. When we are both satisfied, i am about to teleport away, but i spend some time in a friendly conversation post-coitus with him. And here i understand it was not a game, it was not a second life. The man i just had lives in Belgium, speaks dutch, and, especially, he is a software programmer. 

I run away. Always the same stories. With all the people that are in this second world, look at what is happening to me! While teleporting, someone gifts me a dollar! Oh my God... This is the first time i earn some money with sex! Bizarre... i wonder whether i should call my mum... Mm, no, i will not tell her i got payed by someone for a sexual text performance, not now.

After a few minutes, he contacts me again, teleporting me to a very sexual area.  He found some plugins, to have sex in a more visual way. The game infact is evocative, the ambient is not realistic. That was what i like, the brain power instead of the projection.

I am not anymore in the mood, actually i am now concern about my karma and the coincidence of attracting the same type of person i do in real life.

I was actually willing to have anyone, so it must be their problem, if they get magnetized by me. But i am not sure.

Finally my friend comes back, while i am starting a new session of sex with my developer, just because it is a new story and i do not feel like saying NO. I try out a couple of sentences in dutch, to be funny. Here in these pictures you can see some plugins in action.

My attention is stolen by this material person entering the door, my computer, exhausted crashes, and i leave there my new lover fucking alone the ghost of my avatar.

The day after, in the morning, i find two messages from him in my mailbox. Here is an abstract from the second:

Hi Elanor, I guess this is a check to find out if I am real, guess what, I 
 am ;o) Hey I loved our conversation the other day, pity though that you left while we were in  full action, hope to see you again soon 

and, the day after, the third:
Hi Elanor, I am just checking what this does, and if it possibly would work,
 so how are you? 

Must be my haircut, but a friend, last night, was listening to the stream. He recorded it closed to the beginning, and 'pushed' it in my website :D  Ehm... these hackers!
This is the stream from ondarossa, recorded in Amsterdam, mixed by Tizzja :*
http://squat.net/~xname/radioubique/ondarossa-xname-2007-01-30.mp3

I was connected from Leiden on a wireless network. You can hear the low compression of my stream, the total plastic mixer whose contacts went crazy, and my friend in Rome losing the connection. Sorry about that. Internet to come. Fell free to gift me a mixer, if you have a spare one ;p
 

When i first came to Amsterdam, i was planning to emigrate. Thanks to my internet magic skills, while writing my thesis, i managed to disappear, for a while, online. When everybody around me thought i was lost in space and time, my little personal life receipt was made, and one day, suddenly, the cake was ready. Happy to be almost done, i accepted a lover visit. Not any lover... my favorite at that time :) !!

"Hey, how is it going... You haven't been around... What do you do tomorrow?" he said, entering my place.

"Ehm, tomorrow i am going to the University, to discuss my thesis, you know, i have finished!" WOW ... "And... By the way, did i tell you i am moving to... ehm... Amsterdam?"

"What??" ... "Well, i got a job... I did not mean to go there, i was looking for something around Europe, Berlin, Barcelona, some kind of place where i could feed my interests, and my pocket!..."

There were two fields i was testing, asking myself what was more important for me. On one side, i was searching for a job in the B-cinema, some kind of occupation in a small trash or porno or horror film-house. On the other side, i was intrigued by programming, video within the digital domain, and the more 'official' art world. Reality chose for me. I was selected by Montevideo, the 'Netherlands Media-Art Institute'..."

"But how do you do, when will you go, how did you arrange all of that, where will you stay, do you know anyone and... DIAVOLA!"

"Darling, you know i spend a lot of time in front of the computer, right? They call it virtual life but it seems pretty real to me... Anyhow, i am swapping this flat, where we are about to get really hot right now, with another one in Amsterdam, for 7 months. I arranged everything online... " People think i often do not know what am i doing, because of my pleasure in improvising, but i actually do know what am i doing and why.

...

It was so difficult to say i was going, but it was. When you think of an open relation, you can think of everything, but what do you figure? I thought it was clear i was almost an hologram for him, i was going to disappear and offcourse it is love and i love you but... "...i have got to go i need to get out of Italy i don't fell free here and i think they will stop me here before or later for any reason, or whatever. You know what? It is late, there is no doubt, no decision, it is just a straight direct will. Do not... what can i say?"

When i first came to Amsterdam, it was saturday morning, and i had to start working on the following monday. Within the first two hours, i knew i was going to stay for some years.

Many things happened since then.  

Amsterdam is underwater, it is a world apart. Someone once told me Holland is like a drum, because it is flat, and when you hit there the noise is strong and deep and you can hear it from far away. I reflect on the possibility of being heard and not seen, walking through an environment which is so low and all the rest is out of the water, that makes a lens. I swim around looking from above. 

I wish i could have food and love, but no, nothing at all...

So i have to spend another night streaming, the mixer is a 5 euro technology, so, please, be patient!

Here is my url, you can try it any time, i like improvising in obscured moments:

http://stream.r23.cc:2323/ubique.ogg

(use videolan!)

This stream goes to Radio Onda Rossa - Complesso di Electra:

Rome - 87.9 FM 

Everywhere -  http://stream.indivia.net:8000/ondarossa 

I dedicate this to 'La Cueva - Noart Gallery', and all the squatted buildings in Milan, who got the water cut off by... God?? Or who, what did that, who can do such a thing?

Enjoy radioubique :*